Now I’ve only been married for about a year and a half (since 9 Jan 2009) and it’s new to both me and my husband but I think sometimes my husband forgets this is my first marriage as well. He expect so much from me and I guess I do the same to him, but the difference is I realize that we’re both learning and getting the hang of this but he dont seem to take the time to consider that. When we first got married he was never that good for his word but was improving (I know, then why would I still marry him…it happened..anyways) but now and days he’s been getting better but has been saying things more often without following thru. So now me trying to be the peace maker I’m trying to do what he said he was going to so that it wont make us look bad but it’s not easy when he dont work with me. I’m trying to take care of things that he slacked on and he’s snapping at me for asking information so that I can follow it thru. Why do the person that’s suppose to be your “partner/teammate” makes things the hardest? This might sound silly when I say this but I thought once we got married it was going to be us against the world. You know… that we would be able to take on anything together. But God is/has given me a rude awakening and it’s not like that at all (at least not right now). Most of the time (well not most anymore Thank God but a lot) but it’s me against the world including him. He don’t want to communicate with me about serious things and I think a lot of times he forgets I’m on his side. I told him before “I’m for him, I’m for us” but a lot of things and decisions he make seems to be just for him. He still don’t think about whats good for US. When u get married you lose the I’s for US but he hasn’t YET. A lot of times I try to not say anything because I dont want to make him feel incapable of making decisions for us. But would I be a good wife if I stood by my husband and watched him make the same mistakes over and over? Then when he gets frustrated¬† I have to be his punching bag (not literally..he’s never hit me) but verbally it’s just painful. The smart comments, snapping at me, raising his voice, etc. So sometimes I just get confused what IS our responsibility as wives? I pray and strive and desire to be a virtuous women but believe me it’s easier read then done. I know it’s possible but also takes a lot of work. Sometimes I just feel like I’m drowning and speaking positively becomes very difficult. I have faith and hope and know for a fact things will be better but the journey getting there is just that “a journey” that you just dont feel like taking but what else can you do? You can stop, your moving forward in life or automatically moving backwards. So with that being said I found my NEW answer move forward FASTER!!! I think I’ve been slowing down and what happens when u slow down? The stuff you’ve been moving out of starts to catch up with you. So the answer becomes move forward FASTER til the point that what ur working your way out of cant even be seen.

As I study being a virtuous women and the place of a wife I’ll let you guys know and also feel free to do the same as well. I will continue to pray to be gentle with my husband and learn how to nurture him as a man and not attack him. God will and is turning him into an awesome man and husband for His will and works.

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